Lost in Life

Life has mysterious ways of not only catching up to you but also smacking you straight across the face. It doesn’t matter what you do to deny or avoid reality; it stares you in the eyes, screaming, and haunts you until you finally do something about it. Still, we continue our antics until the disappointment becomes unbearable. But at what point does that realization surface? When do you yield and accept your fate? Better yet, what do you do about it? I’ve sat here for the past 3 months struck with dumbfoundedness. I thought that after graduating college, I’d set off on my own career and convinced myself I was heading in the right direction. I even landed two internships where I worked my bum off simply trying to get my foot in the door. Well, they chopped off my toes as they shut that door in my face when I left those internships. Since then I’ve been endlessly and tirelessly searching for a job and coming up with numerous and empty ideas to build my own career. I’m stuck in limbo running in circles with two left feet trying to find some ground, some glimpse of hope. Perhaps it’s the economy. Perhaps it’s the particular category I’m looking for in starting a career. But that just points straight back to the lacking economy. I know blaming the economy is not going to change circumstances either. Sometimes it’s just easier to think of outside forces intercepting your fate. Anything at this point would be a miracle. I’m at a complete loss at what to do and where to go now. I know what I’m good at and I know what I’m capable of but I dislike that bullshitting game the world plays with you. I’m tired of questioning myself. I’m exhausted from running in circles. I’m dizzy from thinking I made certain mistakes. If only the answers could appear when you needed them most. The simple reality is that I’ve been running from past mistakes and not taking enough control of the one aspect of my life that matters the most right now. I just have no clue as to how to get things in motion without feeling like a complete and utter failure. I can’t accept this. I’m very aware of that but I’m lacking some creative outlet in stimulating some motion. I guess if I sit here for a little while longer something will click. Once again, I’ve been thrown a curve ball without the one device I need to knock it out of my life- a bat. I just have to hold on to the hope and the drive that things will work out sooner than later. That’s all we have in this life. We need to use them well.

Cute Outfits

I just couldn't help myself so I'm going to post these on here. I love these actresses and I LOVE their style even more! Kate Hudson is one of my favorites because she takes chances. She's not afraid to stand out and even though a few of her outfits have gotten flack recently, I love them! So here you are...

Grey's Anatomy Gone Too Far

Since I'm going to change the whole topic of this blog, I'm thinking I'm gonna need to do a crossover. I have to come up with a clever and catchy blog name and make it look pretty. I know no one wants to hear people drone on and on about their lives... it's boring and let's face it, who cares? So I don't think the name of this blog is right for talking about other things than myself. Hmmm.
Anyone have any ideas? Pitch them to me and hopefully I'll be able to get the ball rolling on a new one. Until then, I'll continue my stuff on here.

Well, since tomorrow is Thursday and therefore dubbed Grey's Anatomy night, I thought I'd ask for your opinions on this season thus far. Any comments, questions or concerns about it? Have you lost interest? Do you keep watching every week hoping for some story changes?

I personally think this season is pitiful. I used to get so excited for Thursday to roll around for the next episode and now I just don't really care for Thursday night unless there's a good football game on. I don't like the whole Izzie sleeping with her ghost has-been fiance. It's creepy, totally unrealistic and just so out there it shouldn't have been made up at all. I'm hoping they're leading to her joining Denny in heaven finally so we can move on the show without her squeeling and crying every episode. That or just diagnose her with some mental problem and put her in a straight jacket. I'm tired of her! Please tell me I'm not the only one??
Then there's George. What happened to his character? I love him! And he is so awesome and loveable and yet he's not getting any quality air time. The focus is not on him at all. Where'd he go? Bring him back!

So that's my rant about this show gone sour. It's so disappointing. Now the only day I really look forward to are Mondays for Gossip Girl. Who's with me on this one? Don't you LOVE this show?

New Years Resolutions

Has anyone come up with their NY Resolutions yet? Even if your list isn't finalized, what do you have in mind? Do you think you'll stick to them? Or what usually happens?

I know for me I'll make resolutions and generally complete or almost fulfill one of them. It's so true that old habits die hard. But maybe we're all going about changing in a wrong way. Maybe our goals are set too high. Perhaps we need to make little goals in between. You know, take baby steps. Or maybe we just need to shorten our lists to 3 things and work on them. We do have a lifetime to do things differently after all. We're not superheroes either so so what if we don't complete all 15 resolutions on our list for 2009? Chances are no one has.

I found my list from last year... and let's just say I completed like 2 of them.

1. Make more money than I spend and save it (yah that's kinda hard to do as a student with too much on their plate)
2. Maintain a 3.5 GPA (Check)
3. Go somewhere I've never been/Do something I've never done (hmm.. don't think I managed this one)
4. Draw out/finalize business plan (I drew it out but still haven't finalized it :/)
5. Sculpt out my six pack (or lack thereof) - yah, still working on that one unfortunately... but least I'm staying in shape! yay
6. Accomplish something new each month (hmm.. don't think I did this one either)
7. Eat healthier more often (check)
8. Break at least 2 old habits (I am pretty sure I forgot about this one haha)

So that was my list for last year... Do you ever look back at your New Years Resolutions? If you do, do you keep it for the next year to work on or do you make changes to it?

This is my rough draft NYR for the coming year
1. Pay off credit card bill
2. Donate old crap (clothes, DVDs, etc) that I haven't used but try to convince myself I will someday
3. Take a trip to some place I've never been
4. Immerse myself in the LA lifestyle (I'm curious to meet ppl and understand the culture here)
5. Make at least 5 major successes in my career (get a big account, have a successful event, etc)

I'll think of more later... but I want to know what your NYRs are so have fun with them and don't be hesitant to share

Xmas Holiday Crunch

In the spirit of Christmas I thought I'd write a post on that. What I want to know is what are people planning for this Christmas. What are you going to spend your money on? Who will it be spent on? Are you cutting back or are you going to spend about the same amount of money as past years? Are you going to have Christmas parties? Are you still going to ask family and friends for gifts? What are you asking for? Are they geared more to what you NEED than what you want? You catch my drift.

We are all aware that tough economic times are upon us and it is effecting literally everyone. I know I was going to ask for 2 things but now I'm just not going to ask anyone for anything because I know I wont be spending anything on anyone so I shouldn't expect anything from anyone either. I'll be turning my kitchen into a mini bakery and will be giving people cookies and pies. I will probably also make my own Christmas cards.

New Years wont be much better. In past years I have celebrated with a group of friends in SF where we each pitch in $150 for hotel and then buy tickets to a sweet party... This year I will be at home while my friends are celebrating in Vegas. They are trying to guilt trip me into going but they don't understand that I have no money for it and I'm not about to go beg my dad to help me go party in Vegas on New Years... That's ridiculous. So how will you spend your New Years?

Topics

I really think I'm not made to blog. I follow a few daily and it is a job in itself. I just don't have the time to dedicate every single day to write something. I don't even think anyone's reading this to be quite honest. I have rarely made new posts and the ones I do have are few and far between. I keep saying I'm going to try and yet I can't make myself do it. There are topics that come up in my mind that I feel like writing about but when I finally get around to actually write about them I lose interest. Maybe not so much interest as my mojo or motivating factor for writing about it is gone.. I guess if I want to feel somewhat productive I'll have to force myself to write about something.

I just feel like there are so many blogs out there that cover the same topic in every way possible and it just ruins everything. The topic becomes overdone and watered down. What becomes the point then of yet another person writing about it? I need something innovative to write about that people are interested in. That would motivate me to come on here every day and blog. If anyone reads this at all or comes across this give me some ideas please.

Is it the side of politics that no one covers but everyone wonders about?

Our obsession with celebs and at what cost our "must know" attitude will take? (paparazzis, etc).
Advertising- has it gone too far? Are they causing headaches?

Fashion- Who says what's the next trend? Why do we follow it? Are we slaves to it?

Travel- Every holiday, every spring/summer season mags and newspapers give you the same "where to go" places you see time and again. Who wants something new that's not overpopulated? or places that rarely get mentioned but are diamonds in the rough?

Education- Where is our society taking this? I really don't think this topic is covered enough nor are the real issues dissected. Yes, we know books are expensive.. but why? Yes, we know tuition is going up, but why? What is the purpose of this or that? (tests, applications, etc) What really are they looking for in a prospective student? How do you know what will be best for you? (many mags cover these questions but they tell you what you want to hear and what colleges allow them to say)

Sports- the scandals, the over paid players, the aggressive fans.. what has this pasttime become?

Reading- Everyone has a book now.. there are far too many generic, mindless books out there along with the how-to's and diet fad books as opposed to books with real substance. Has this become a business like that of movies and retail?

Technology- is it really benefiting us? or is it making us more stupid and dependent? Texting has destroyed grammar and spelling. People speak in abbreviations now. We're tied to our phones as if death would happen were we to turn them off. Are we alienating ourselves from the world or are we uniting ourselves with the world through technology?

You catch my drift.. I'll just start with something and see how it is received I guess...

Time to break away from cell phone dependence

I wish I had something profound to say. In the past, I've been known to talk about important issues or philosophize about random things. There have been times where I'll be thinking about something and consider writing about it on here and then the moment will pass before I can get to my computer. Sure, the thoughts will still be swimming around in my head but I just don't feel like blogging about it anymore. I guess the initial brilliant feeling fades quickly and then it just feels like another thought among the masses.

I must say that I am happy to get out of town this weekend. I'm tired of dealing with stupid drama. I feel like everyone's stressed out this quarter. I don't know why- it's only week 4. I know midterms are coming up but they are no reason to bite someones head off. Getting away will be good for me to simply relax. I can even turn my phone on silent or something and not feel guilty about it because it will be a mini vacation. I don't understand our dependence on our cell phones. I see people talking on their phones practically all day and in the most inappropriate moments. The other day I saw a woman speaking on her phone during lunch with her husband. She was on the phone for like 15 mins and I sat there watching her in awe. Why can't we just detach ourselves from our phones for at least an hour a day? I mean are those phone calls really that important to have during lunch with your significant other? At least excuse yourself from the table! *sigh* maybe it's just me but I find it rude when people answer their phones at the table. It's your time to actually have human interaction and enjoy being with someone in person and eat, not reattach your ear to your piece of technology. When will this phase end? We crave intimacy whether it be closeness with a dear friend or a significant other and yet we detach ourselves from the very thing we seek. It's counterproductive. No wonder so many people are unhappy with their lives... they make terrible decisions without realizing it.

Enough ranting.. I think it's time for bed.